The End
by Frichikiras
Summary: Ichigo and Grimmjow are extremely close friends. They're almost inseparable. Then, one day the two of them are ripped apart. AU, OOCness, mentions of yaoi. Warnings inside.


**Got this idea at work one day and therefore spent my breaks by writing the plot down..  
>I have noticed that I really prefer writing oneshots, because through them I can bring my weird ideas to life without having to think about continuation.. *sigh*<strong>

**Okay so this is just a scribble, which got its start from one single scene in my head while mopping the floors.. (Yep, I work as a cleaner for the summer)  
>M-rating is not for smut or anything, but for other reasons. Let's just say that this is not such a beautiful story in some parts.<br>The story is written in Ichigo's POV (Dunno, I just like to write in his point of view)**

**Warnings: Bad language, character death and violence(!)  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. If I did…well you don't want to know.<strong>

**Oh, and even though it says 'character death', this kinda has a happy ending.. In a twisted way.. Just wanted to say.  
>But now, onwards~<strong>

* * *

><p>"Ichi-nii, lunch is ready" Yuzu's clear voice echoed in the hallway<p>

"Yeah yeah, be right there" I replied while stuffing my legs into a pair of black jeans.

I had just taken a shower so my hair was still damp, but I didn't care. Throwing on a red t-shirt I wondered if I had everything I needed. After lunch I'm going to go out and I'm too lazy to run back upstairs once I have gone downstairs, so I always try to take everything with me in one go. I glanced at my night desk and noticed my wallet was still there. Stumbling forward I reached for it, but managed to push it down to the floor instead of grabbing it into my hand. Cursing my clumsiness I picked it up and stuffed it into the back pocket of my jeans.

"Guess I have everything now.." I mumbled to myself and started to make my way towards the door, which led out of my room. Before I grabbed the door knob I looked at my calendar, which was hanging on my wall. I grinned widely. This day had been circled with a red marker. Today was the day I had been looking forward for what felt like ages.

Because today Grimmjow will come back to Karakura town.

"Ichi-nii, the food is getting cold!" Yuzu yelled again, this time her voice a little more serious.

I turned the knob and opened the door, throwing myself out to the hallway.

Grimmjow had been in the US for the last two months to visit his family. It had been torturous for me since I didn't have my best bud here with me. We have been friends for almost ten years, although the first years we knew each other weren't that rosy.

We were eight when we first met and everything the other did annoyed the other. Both wanted to play with the same toys but neither wanted to share. And since both of us possess a fiery personality, it all ended up in a fight. You might not believe it, but two 8-year-old boys actually can make quite a mess of each other if they want.

Somewhere on the way things clicked between us and we became friends. Still, I wouldn't have thought that a few years later he would be almost like a brother to me. Well, a brother until some other stuff came into the picture. I can say with ease that we are close – _really _close. Sometimes even I wonder what the hell the relationship between us is. Almost everybody at school thinks that we're together, but we're not – at least not officially.

It doesn't matter what the other does – the other is always there too. Where Grimm is, I am too. We pretty often spend our free time at Grimmjow's place watching movies. Grimm lies on the sofa, his head on my lap and I slowly run my fingers through his blue hair. Sometimes it's the other way around. If we're out, we might just walk aimlessly and bug each other.

We don't really care what the others think, why should we? Both of us are happy with how thing are so why bother.

Remember when I mentioned about the other stuff that came into the picture? Well you know, one thing led to another and we messed around drunk ending up jacking each other off at Grimm's place. It was supposed to be a onetime experience but it wasn't. Recently it has become more like a way to kill time. Like 'Dude, I'm bored – hey I know! Get outta those pants, I'mma jack ya off!' We have also kissed – many times, but we haven't had sex. And we haven't really talked about it so in my mind we are just good friends who…well, share sexual experiences (to say it in a nice manner)

I also haven't thought anything about having romantic feelings towards him. Well I can admit that I love him, but I'm not sure if it's in a friendly way or something else. I feel like if I start to overthink things, it will affect our friendship and that is the last thing I want to happen. So I have just let things roll without paying attention. If something is about to happen, then so be it.

But one thing I do know is that I've become so accustomed to having Grimm around that I can't think being without him. So maybe now you can understand why I have been waiting for this day like crazy.

In the middle of having my lunch my cell started to vibrate in my pocket. A little annoyed (I hate it when somebody interrupts my eating), I checked the screen for who was calling. The name 'Grimm' blinking on the screen made my irritation vanish to thin air and I bounced up to my feet, leaving my lovely lunch behind. Karin was about to scold me for leaving the table so rudely, but Yuzu stopped her. I made a note to myself to remember to thank her later.

I walked away from the dining room and pushed the answer button.

"Yo. So you're finally back here?"

"Yeah and fuck if it feels good to be home" Grimmjow's gruff voice greeted my ear. He yawned but then suddenly stopped, supposedly remembering something "Hey, I really gotta show ya something. Are ya free today?"

I inwardly snorted. Idiot, what do you think?

"Guess I am, what do you have in mind?" I was acting nonchalant when in reality I felt like a 5-year-old with a giant lollipop in my reach.

"I'll take a quick shower and then come to yer place to pick ya up, 'kay?" He sounded somehow more excited than normal but I decided to ignore it. Maybe it was because he was finally home (he wasn't too happy about the trip to the US in the first place since he doesn't really like travelling)

After accepting his suggestion we ended the call and I returned to my half-eaten meal.

"Was it Grimmjow? Is he back in town?" Yuzu asked, her voice happy as always. I grinned and nodded.

"Oh, just as I got my son back, I'll lose him again to this Jaegerjaquez" My dad mumbled to his water-glass. I chose to ignore him like I always do unless I feel the need to sink my fist into his jaw or something.

"So, what're you gonna do?" Karin asked, her mouth full of food.

"Dunno, he talked about something he wants to show me" I replied, simultaneously wondering what it might be.

* * *

><p>"Holy mother of every fucking god, Grimm! What the hell is this?" I gaped, staring at a brand new Aston Martin DBS.<p>

"It's a car, Ichi" Grimmjow teased, making me roll my eyes.

"Yeah yeah you idiot. Did you buy this?" I walked around the vehicle, staring at its beautiful paintjob. It was cyan with dark blue tiger stripes on its sides and hood.

Grimmjow nodded "From America. At least I got something good out of the trip"

"Well yeah totally, this looks awesome. It must have been expensive as hell…" I looked at the blue-haired man and smiled as I saw the shit-eating grin on his face. He looked to be so proud of this car. Can't blame him though.

"So, ya wanna go for a ride?" He placed a hand on top of his new car and smirked at me.

"Seriously, you don't even have to ask" I mumbled and walked beside Grimm, stuffing my hands into the pockets of my jeans.

"Well then get inside, I'll show ya what this kitty can do" He opened the door and gestured me to go inside like a goddamn butler. He was rewarded with the angriest glare I could squeeze out at that moment. I hate it when he treats me like a fucking woman, which I obviously am not. I crossed my arms over my chest as I sat on the leather seat.

"Aw, c'mon Ichi" Grimm laughed and shut the door, walked to the other side of the car and threw himself on the driver's seat.

I forgot my faked irritation as he started the V12 engine. Adrenaline rushed through my veins and I couldn't help the wide smile that spread across my face.

"It had white leather seats, but because I don't like white, I got them changed to black leather. Anyway, where ya wanna go?" The blue-haired man hit the gas, making the engine roar.

"I really don't care, just drive wherever you want" Oh man, this was so good..

We drove around for a while, turning heads since a car like that wasn't a very common sight in a city like Karakura. Then Grimm decided it was time to release the beast as he headed to a highway.

"Hold on to yer pants Ichi, shit's gonna fly" Grimmjow cackled as the car's speed increased.

"How fast can this thing go?" I was feeling a little hesitant since we were already speeding down the road like maniacs.

"Well the salesman said it's supposed to go about 300 km/h, I wonder if we could try and see…" He was starting to have a sick gleam in his eyes.

"No we couldn't, it'd be too dangerous. How fast are we already going?"

"197 km/h"

I swallowed. I can't deny that the speed we were going wasn't a huge adrenaline rush, but to tell the truth I was a little scared. At these speeds, anything could happen. Even though I know Grimm is a good driver, but still..

"Don't you think we should slow down a bit?" I tried to coax him to hold back a little.

"Ya think so?" He glanced at me, his grin still intact

"Yeah I do and goddamnit keep your eyes to the road!" I grabbed his chin and turned his face forward.

"Hmph, killjoy.. But isn't this great?" He wasn't really serious, so I didn't react to his comment about me being a killjoy, so I just nodded.

I stared at the speedometer. 190 km/h… 184 km/h… 172 km/h… I could feel my anxiety go down bit by bit. 148 km/h… 131 km/h…

I started to smile again. That seriously was a hell of an experience to go that fast. I glanced at Grimmjow, but started to frown when I saw Grimmjow's expression change. He wasn't grinning anymore, he was scowling.

I was about to ask what was wrong when suddenly a loud screech-sound could be heard.

"Son of a bitch!" Grimm yelled and grabbed the steering wheel tighter while glancing to the left and then glaring at the road in front of us.

The car started to fishtail fiercely and my heart sunk down to my feet.

"Grimm! What's happening?" I screamed in panic

"Somebody just… Fuck!" Grimm gritted his teeth and turned the steering wheel with quick movements.

"Oh my god! No!"

…

..

* * *

><p>I could hear an annoying beeping noise. It sounded like those damn things in a hospital. Heart monitors or something.<p>

I slowly opened my eyes.

"I-Ichigo? Are you awake?" Yuzu's quiet voice asked, accompanied with Karin's and my dad's.

"W-where am I? Wha-?" My questions were barely hearable as my voice was just a wheeze. I squinted my eyes since the bright light almost blinded me. I tried to look around me. It was so white, everywhere.

"Ichigo, son, you're in a hospital. You and Grimmjow were in an accident. A drunken driver crashed to your car from the side and pushed you off the road." My dad explained, his voice quiet but firm.

I stared at the ceiling. We.. We were in an accident? How? Where's Grimmjow, how is he? My head was full of questions but I couldn't voice them out. I just opened and closed my mouth like a fish on a dry land. Karin gave me a glass of water, which I took happily. After a few sips I was able to speak better.

"Dad, h-how's Grimm? Where is he?" I tried to get up from the hospital bed, but dad pushed me gently back down.

"Do not try to get up. Grimmjow isn't here now. His condition is a lot worse than yours so they took him to ICU. Once you get a little better, you can go visit him." I felt like my heart had stopped

"ICU? O-Oh my god… He will make it though, right?" My dad didn't answer.

"Dad?" I wanted an answer and I was going to get one.

"Son, I do not know yet. Not even the doctors do. Let me call a nurse to check on you" He turned around and left the room. I kept staring at the ceiling as a torturous pain was crushing my whole being.

Do not tell me that Grimm will leave me behind again.

* * *

><p>A few days later I was allowed to get up from the bed and move around with a wheelchair. I had broken two ribs and bones from my legs, but I was going to make it just fine. Grimmjow's future on the other hand didn't look as bright as mine. Among other things, he had punctured one lung, broken his spine and vital organs had been injured. The doctors had done everything they could but now they didn't know what else to try. He had been unconscious for the most part, excluding the few times he had woken up for few minutes and then gone under again.<p>

His body was falling apart. Actually it was a miracle he was still alive.

I slowly opened the door to his room. I had heard that he had been awake this morning so I demanded that I wanted to go see him. The even beeping of his heart monitor made me feel both relieved and scared. Relieved that he was still alive, scared because his heart could stop beating anytime.

"Grimm?" I rolled closed with my chair and tried to see his face. I wanted to stand up. I wanted to see his face. Damn this wheelchair to the lowest pits of hell!

I looked around me and as I didn't see anyone I grabbed the side of his bed and lifted myself up, constantly leaning against the bed. I managed to get my upper-body on the bed so that now half of my body was lying next to Grimm, my legs hanging from the side of the bed. I was on my stomach and thus I was able to see my beloved friend.

"Grimmjow?" I tried again. His eyes moved a little under his eyelids, which I took as a sign that he might hear my voice.

"Grimm, it's Ichi. Open your eyes, 'kay?" I reached a trembling hand and ran my fingers through his blue hair, just like I used to do when we were at his place.

"..Ichi" I held my breath as I heard his voice.

"Grimm, thank god you're awake" A faint smile tugged my lips as I hung myself on the side of his bed.

"F-Fuck, I'm…sorry" His voice was hoarse and his half-lidded eyes looked hazy.

"No, don't be. It's not your fault. A drunk hit us and.. Shit, Grimm you have to get better. You have to.." I gritted my teeth and stared deep into his eyes.

Grimmjow smiled weakly. "They say my body.." He shifted and grimaced at the pain it caused "…is fucked up. That I might not…make it, Ichi"

"Don't say that! Just.. don't.." I was fighting a losing battle against tears as I could feel my eyes moistening.

"Mm, Ichi don't cry. It's okay" How ironic, he was trying to comfort me when he was the one who might die. I let out a pathetic laugh between my sniffs.

" 'It's okay' you say.. No Grimm. It's not okay. Nothing is okay if you... I.." Grimmjow silenced me by hushing quietly. I pressed my forehead against his shoulder.

"Is.. Is this really the end of all? The end of us?" My voice was weak and trembling and I hated it, but at the same time I couldn't help it.

"Huh? Hell no."

He was silent of a moment. "I'll come back to ya if.. if ya know something happens. I promise, someday I'll come back to ya."

"That doesn't really comfort me you know" I said quietly and continued running my fingers through his hair.

"That's all I have to offer right now, Ichi" Grimm sighed and slowly moved his arm around my shoulders.

"Yeah" I felt defeated. I wanted to reverse time. I wanted to heal Grimmjow. I wanted to…

Suddenly somebody knocked to the door and opened it. A nurse stepped in.

"I'm really sorry to interrupt you, but it's time for you to return to your room, Ichigo. Grimmjow needs all the rest and sleep he can get." The nurse said warmly and walked beside Grimm's bed.

I reluctantly agreed to sit back to my wheelchair. I grabbed Grimmjow's hand and held onto it as long as I could as the nurse started taking me away. With a final wave and look, the door between me and Grimmjow closed, separating the previously inseparable.

* * *

><p>I stared at the wall in front of me. An hour ago dad had come to my room and told me something that crushed every feeling I had in me.<p>

Last night, Grimmjow had died.

I felt empty, abandoned and overall alone. I couldn't cry or laugh. I couldn't even move a single limb. I just stared at the white wall in front of me in denial.

He couldn't have left me behind. We promised to always stick together. Always…

Finally I acknowledged the color of the opposing wall.

White.. Grimmjow disliked white. He changed the seats to his car because he didn't like the white leather seats.

Why is this hospital so fucking white?

I hate white..

I fucking hate white.

I just sat on my bed, immobile, for what felt like ages. I couldn't understand that somebody had seriously taken away my friend, my brother, my…my love.

Why couldn't I die with him? It would have been so much easier.

As I dwelled in my miserable thoughts, my family entered the room.

"Ichi-nii?" Yuzu asked, her voice full of concern. I didn't answer to her but just turned towards her, knowing my face was blank, as if my spirit had died. Well actually, it had.

"Ichigo, my son, do you want to talk? You need to get those feelings out of you somehow" My dad actually could sound serious. But right now it wasn't even funny, whereas if it were a different situation, I might have commented about it.

I turned my head back towards the white wall and sighed "Nothing to talk about"

"But, my son…"

"Please leave"

My dad let out a defeated sigh and nudged Yuzu and Karin's shoulders, silently telling them to leave the room with him. Both of the girls glanced at our dad with a helpless expression across their faces, but finally they agreed to dad's soft command.

As the door clicked shut, I finally felt tears stinging my eyes.

I didn't try to stop them but silently cried, letting the tears stream down my pale cheeks.

* * *

><p>I woke up to the annoying sound of my alarm clock. I hit it with my fist, effectively shutting it up. I glanced at it to see what time was it. 7:30. Urgh..<p>

Today it's exactly five months from Grimmjow's death. I still have a hard time accepting it and sometimes daily life feels extremely difficult, almost impossible. My physical injuries are healed already, but mental ones will take a lot longer to get better – if it's even possible for them to ever heal.

After I heard about Grimm's death, I got depressed. It got so bad I refused to get out of my bed and just stared at the ceiling of my room. I didn't have the will to live but I didn't have the guts to end my life. Now I'm eating antidepressants, which help a little.

I'm totally different from before though. My outer appearance, for example, is a little different. My hair is much longer than it used to be for I don't bother to cut it anymore. I got my ears pierced – three on each ear. I also wear a lot more black than I used and avoid white as much as I can. I have gained a serious dislike against white. Once I got released from the hospital and got home, I demanded that every single white surface would get painted over with another color. Luckily my dad agreed without any complaints.

Overall my life has taken a total turn for the worst. First I just started to get into fist fights in school. My reputation as a hot-headed fighter spread and before I knew it, I was fighting with knifes and broken glass bottles. Then I was introduced to the world of gangs. I guess I was longing for something similar what I had with Grimmjow. But I should have known better. Even though in a gang you are like brothers with the members, it's nowhere near the bond I had with Grimm. Nothing could ever replace it. It's like eating something as much as you can; while it physically fills your stomach, it doesn't sate your feel of hunger.

It's like a poor replacement to which I have to settle for.

And with the gang-life came huge gang fights and the over-usage of alcohol, cigarettes and sometimes even drugs.

After my normal morning activities, I took my back bag and left for school after saying my goodbyes to everyone. My family knew I would leave the school building once I get bored and with my new friends, it wouldn't take long.

As I stepped outside, my new friends were already waiting for me in front of my house. They were all part of the gang – Seiretei – in which I belonged too.

"Yo, Ichigo, I think we're going to be late" Renji, a red-haired guy with a lot of tribal tattoos yelled and lifted his hand. He was probably the closest to me in our group.

"Like you'd give a shit anyway" I grinned at him as I walked closer.

"Yep" He smirked back and bumped fists with me.

"Only thing is that we have history, Tousen will rip his fucking pants – again." Hisagi, a black haired guy with weird tattoos on his face, groaned and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Maybe we shouldn't go at all?" Kira, a blond guy with a constant worried expression on his face, nonchalantly commented before starting to walk casually to the opposite direction from where the school was.

"Yeah, we should go visit Toshiro, he said he has weed. I'm out of it." Renji scratched the back of his neck.

"The hell you smoke so fucking much, idiot" I smacked him, but started to follow Kira, leaving a scowling Renji behind.

It seems I won't go to school today.

We hanged out the whole day after visiting Toshiro so Renji got his damn weed. The day was quite pretty and calm, which was great since I didn't feel like fighting or anything else. We were at a park, Hisagi and Kira slouching on a wooden bench whereas Renji and I were lying on the grass. Hisagi had a cigarette, which he smoked lazily.

"Hisagi, gimme a drag" I waved my hand in emphasize.

"Tch, smoke your own" Hisagi grumbled but gave the cancer-stick to me anyway.

As I inhaled the toxic smoke, Renji's cell started to ring. Cursing the loud object, the redhead reached for his phone and answered it.

"Yah? Who? Oh, Kuchiki. Yep, we're all here. In the park. What? No! Of course not" The three of us listened as Renji babbled to his cell. He was talking to Byakuya Kuchiki, our gang leader, who was also Renji's unofficial lover. Neither of them admitted it, but everyone knew about it, so..

Renji grinned to the phone "Hell yeah, we'll be there in a sec." With that he disconnected the call and turned to us.

"We gotta go. There's some Las Noches bastards in town and Kuchiki wants them outta Karakura." He got up to his feet and started to walk away. "C'mon, we have some ass waiting for us to kick" He laughed and continued walking.

"Fuck yeah, let's go" Hisagi jumped up from the bench, cracking his knuckles.

"You know you won't need your fists, Hisagi. They fight dirty with knifes and sometimes even guns.." Kira said calmly as he followed the black-haired man. I just sighed and followed the three in front of me.

I really didn't feel like fighting today.

* * *

><p>"Goddamnit they're the top fighters of Las Noches" Renji sighed as he watched the four guys, who were leaning against a building.<p>

I glanced at each of them. I knew most of them beforehand. There was a tall-as-fuck guy called Nnoitra, who had his eye injured in our last fight – thus he was wearing an eye patch. Next to him was Gin. This guy was a serious weirdo. He has silver hair and his face is always twisted to that mocking grin and his eyes are constantly slitted. I have no idea how the hell can he fight with his eyes basically closed, but he's a good fighter. He's so fast you can't even tell what hit you until it's too late. Then there were Starrk. When I first met him I was a little surprised a guy like him would join a gang. He is really laid back and doesn't like to fight – which pissed me a _lot_ during our last gang fight.

Then as I moved my gaze to the fourth one, I froze.

I hadn't met him before. Anger and hatred flared inside me as I took in his appearance. His skin was so pale it was almost white. His hair was white. His clothes were white.

And I hate white to the world's end. Grimm hated white so I hate white too. I really do. The thought of Grimm made my heart clench painfully, but I tried to ignore it.

"Fuck" I mumbled and started to walk towards them. "Ichigo!" Renji tried to stop me by grabbing my arm, but I shook his hand away and continued walking.

Did I mention something about not feeling like fighting? Well fuck that.

"What the fuck are you fuckers doing here? If your lives are precious to you I recommend you to drag your fat asses away from here." I snarled at the four men as I got closer.

"My my, wha' do we have 'ere?" Gin cooed and grinned widely – as usual.

"Shut the fuck up, freak" I spat and glared at him, making him chuckle.

"No need ta get angry, carrot-head" The white bastard cackled, making my blood boil.

"Did anyone ask you shit? No. So keep your face shut and go to your dear Aizen to get your ass fucked so good you can't walk for a week" I curled my lip in disgust. Oh, Aizen is their gang leader, if you didn't know.

"Really? Somebody needs a good beatin', yeah?" Nnoitra walked in front of me, towering over me.

"Bring it on, fucker." I took a fighting stance and spat at his feet.

"You fucking..!" Nnoitra was ready to punch me, but was stopped by a white hand on his arm. With an angry glare and a growl, Nnoitra backed down and let the white freak step in front of me.

"What the fuck do _you_ want, you disgust me you fucking…." I couldn't even come up with a proper name for him so I just glared at his white face and black-and-gold eyes.

"Name's Shirosaki" He said with a serious voice and then narrowed his golden eyes. "Who the hell do ya think ya are, bitch? Comin' here barking yer ass off. Ya really wanna die, right?"

"Fuck you. What do you think you can do about it, snow white?" I knew I was digging my own grave but I just couldn't help it. His face, his skin, his _everything_ made me enraged. How dare he be so fucking _white_?

"Ichigo, get the fuck outta there!" Renji finally came behind me and grabbed my arm yanking me backwards. He glanced at the four Las Noches –members and narrowed his eyes.

"We'll let ya off the hook for now, but next time we meet…" He threatened and then walked away, dragging me with him. I tried to escape to get to punch that white fucker, but was unable to do so since Renji was stronger than me and he wasn't going to let go of my arm. I cursed at him, but eventually stopped fighting and agreed to follow him.

Once we got farther away, the redhead pushed me against a wall and glared at me, Kira and Hisagi behind him.

"What the fuck is yer problem? Ya should know not to barge in there like that. Idiot." He growled and then turned away, leaving me scowling at his back.

After a short silent moment he sighed and continued. "I know ya have lost yer friend and thus hate white or something like that, but don't ya know who Shirosaki is? He's fucking crazy. He probably has killed more people than Aizen himself, for fuck's sake! So shove yer problems to the side for a while and stay the fuck away from him, if ya seriously don't want to get killed."

I didn't answer to him but just scowled. It's not like I can do anything about it. Whenever I get into that mood, nobody can stop me. Not even me myself. That is just one thing that was left behind after Grimm died. My hatred towards everything because Grimmjow was taken away from me channels through my anger towards everything white. I couldn't help it.

* * *

><p>Later that evening I walked home and stumbled straight to my room, not saying a word to anyone. I was still angry as hell and I all I wanted was to cut that fucker <em>Shirosaki's<em> head off. Yeah, I might get a little violent sometimes, but hey, how do you think one could survive in a gang if you'd be a total pussy?

I slammed the door of my room closed and threw myself on my bed. With a deep sigh I tried to calm myself down. It was hard though.

I glanced at my night desk. On it there was a picture or Grimm and me. Grimm had an arm around my shoulders and he was grinning widely whereas I was scowling – the basic expressions we had. I smiled sadly and took the picture in my hand for a closer look.

I missed him. I missed him so badly. It had been only five months and the pain in my heart was still as fresh and torturous as it was the day I heard about Grimm's death.

I started to imagine how things would be if he had survived. Well first of all, I most likely won't be in Seiretei. I wouldn't be drinking so much, smoking cigarettes or smoking weed. I wouldn't be fighting with fists and knifes. I would live a normal life – a happy life. With my best friend beside me.

But no. It wasn't the reality. Sometimes I felt bad for Renji and the others. I was such a crappy friend, always pining for an old love, never giving all of myself to my new friends. But it couldn't be helped. I just couldn't bring myself to open my heart again. I guess I was afraid I would be hurt again.

My sadness started to turn into hatred once again. It always does and then I start to feel the need to fight. This time was no exception. Fighting was the way of venting out my pain and sorrow.

Even though it was already late, I got up from my bed, put the picture safely back on my desk and left.

"Ichigo, son, where are you going at this time of the night?" My dad yelled from the living room as I was putting my shoes on.

"Out" was my only reply before I opened the door and stepped outside to the cool night.

I walked aimlessly, searching something I could sink my fist into. There wasn't much people out this late, but I was sure I could find someone.

I had walked for I guess a half an hour and was in a dark alley when suddenly I heard steps behind me.

"Well well, if it isn't the carrot-head, or should I call ya Strawberry. Didn't learn yer lesson yet?" I recognized that voice - it's Shirosaki's.

I grinned. Hell yeah I'm going to get my fight tonight.

"What the hell does such a pure, white being do in a dark and quiet place like this? You scared?" I turned to the white bastard and let my anger take over.

"Tsk tsk, cocky as ever. I think I need ta kick that outta ya" Shirosaki waved his hand, calling Gin and Nnoitra out from the shadows.

"It seems yer all alone. Not a smart move. I hope ya remembered ta say goodbye ta yer friends since ya won't see them again" The whitey took a knife out of his pocket, running his tongue along its blade and staring intently at me. Nnoitra grabbed his brass knuckles and Gin just grinned.

"Tch, whatever. Like I couldn't take you on" I growled and took my knife out from my pocket. Just as I was about to charge, somebody grabbed my arms from behind, making it impossible for me to move them anymore. I started to yell my rage out and kicked furiously, trying to get free.

One powerful punch to my stomach by Nnoitra silenced me as I was left gasping for breath. The someone was still holding me as I dropped down onto my knees.

"Finally ya understood ta shut up" Nnoitra snarled and kicked me sharply to the side. I coughed and leaned forward, my arms behind my back as they were still held by the fourth one.

"He won't run away anymore, ya can let go of him now, Starrk" Shirosaki said and walked in front of me. Starrk released my arms and I slumped forward, now being on all fours.

The white bastard put his knife under my chin and lifted my face with it. "I like the way ya look right now.."

"Fuck you" I managed to wheeze out and glared angrily at him.

"So ya still got some willpower in ya, do ya? He grabbed my chin and placed the knife against my cheek and put some pressure on the blade, making my cheek bleed as his knife cut through my skin. I refused to make a sound even though it hurt.

"Ya know, I could just slit yer throat open.." He kept making little cuts to my face and then took the knife away for a second as Nnoitra kicked me again to keep me from getting up.

"But that won't be any fun. I wanna see ya suffer, I wanna hear ya scream" His eyes were gleaming and his twisted grin grew even wider as I let out a muffled wail of pain.

"That's it Strawberry, scream fer help. No-one's gonna come fer ya"

Now I understood what Renji was trying to say. This man isn't normal, he enjoys torturing people. And now I was his target.

I wonder what Grimm would say if he'd see me. He would probably kick my ass for being so stupid. "_No-one's gonna come fer ya_" Those words made me remember Grimm's promise to come back to me someday.

Another sharp kick, this time to my stomach. I winced and fell down to my side, curling into myself.

Shirosaki cackled loudly and crouched down next to me. "Fuck Berry, ya look pathetic" He grabbed my hair and forced me to look at him, at the same time twisting my neck painfully.

"Like this, ya won't be nothin' more than a burden ta yer friends. Yer worthless" His words were like swords, but I tried to ignore them. I tried to ignore the pain, the blood that was getting into my eyes from the several cuts, making it hard for me to see clearly.

"Ya will lose everythin'. Yer friends, yer life, _everythin'. Die._" He was about to stab me, but somehow I was able to stop him. I pushed him, so that he fell to his ass, cursing loudly.

I scrambled to my feet and pushed Nnoitra, who wasn't able to react because of his surprised state, away to clear the path. I could see the end of the alley, if I could just make it there.

I started to run as fast as I could when suddenly all I heard was a loud bang.

I stopped running.

Pain.

My mid-section was in excruciating pain. I looked down to my stomach and my breath hitched as I noticed it was bleeding like hell. I brought my hands to my stomach, blood smearing them red in an instant.

I dropped to my knees and coughed up blood.

Shit, they shot me. Fuck. I slumped forward, landing on my stomach, my face hitting the ground.

I could hear Shirosaki's voice from behind me. "Hnngaaa, I didn't wanna shoot him. Too easy 'n quick fer him." He whined and then cackled. Nnoitra walked to me and kicked me to the side, turning me to lie on my back. He smirked at my face, which was twisted in pain.

"Maa, tha's gonna leave a stain, ya know" Gin cooed as he emerged from the corner from which he was watching the show. Starrk grunted in agreement.

"Yeah, well whatever, I don't care. He's gonna die soon so no more fun fer us. Let's get the fuck outta here." Shirosaki grumbled and started to make his way out of the dark alley, his comrades following him.

I was left lying there on the ground, surrounded by my own blood. I uttered a weak laugh as I thought about the poor human who was going to find my dead body in the morning. I knew my face was fucked up by that fucking white bastard. I loathe him. And I wasn't even able to hit him once.

Pathetic.

It hurt so much that I almost waited for death to come, to take the pain away.

As I lied there, immobile, I suddenly heard a voice.

"Ichi…"

Huh? Is somebody there? Who is it? My mind was full of questions but I didn't say them out loud.

"Oh man, ya got yerself pretty fucked up, didn't ya" A rough, but warm voice talked to me from what seemed to be nowhere and everywhere at the same time. I tried to glance around me to see who it was but it was no use, it was like the voice was in my head.

Then suddenly realization washed over me as I recognized that voice.

"G-Grimm?" My voice was hoarse, but at least I managed to speak.

"Told ya I'd come back to ya someday" Grimmjow appeared in front of me, looking down at me, smiling.

"A-Am I gonna d-die?" I stuttered between coughs. Stupid question, but what can I say…

"I just came here to take ya with me. Ya don't need to be alone anymore" He crouched down beside me and petted my head.

I felt tears streaming down my blood-stained cheeks. "Oh my god, Grimm. I've missed you so f-fucking much.. My life h-has been shit ever s-since."

"Yeah, I know. I've missed ya too. But I'm here now" He looked straight into my eyes, his cyan eyes filled with uncharacteristic warmth. Suddenly his face turned into a slight frown.

"Ya look horrible. I wanna take ya away from here already"

I swallowed. "I wanna leave already"

Grimm's frown turned back into a wide grin. He stood up and extended his hand towards me "Good, then let's go." Then he asked something what I asked him back when he was dying and to which I knew the answer the second he uttered those words: "So, do you still believe the end of all had arrived? The end of us?"

A bright light was spreading around us as I stared at my beloved friend. I got him back, we're reunited. I felt whole for the first time in months. Immeasurable happiness and warmth filled me, as a shit-eating grin spread across my face and I grabbed his extended hand.

"Huh? Hell no!"

* * *

><p><strong>Whoa, it was supposed to be a scribble – it turned out to be 14 pages in MS Word.. *dies*<strong>

**I dunno what to say.. This was quite different, but I really enjoyed writing it.  
>And I couldn't help but make that ending a little sweet.. Poor Ichi had already suffered enough, so now he got back together with his…friend..boyfriend..'brother'..ohmygod whatever they are to each other!<strong>

**I would really like to know what you thought about this, so….  
>Reviews? :)<strong>

**~Frichikiras**


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